Aside
0

I hate you.

 

I wanna say it a million times hoping that all the feelings would be gone.

 

It was so bad enough that you’ve taken me for granted. How did you manage even breaking my heart?

 

All this time I haven’t been talking to you, I’ve been watching the list of shows I make while we talk. Those that you’ve mentioned that I haven’t watched. I almost finished the cartoon series of Avatar. I even watched Marley and Me despite the fact I hate watching sad puppy stories, just so I could better understand the things that interests you. I’ve read stuffs about your job, so I could relate to whatever gibberish you’re telling me. Your picture was still my wallpaper. All your messages are intact. All Because I was hoping so much you’re just waiting for my anger to subside. And that you know I would always be the first one to step up and clear the air.

 

What did you do? What did I do to deserve this?

 

I hate you. I hate you so much I want to pull out that part of my brain that remembers how you laugh, how you frown, how you close your eyes and try to sleep. I hate you for all the tears that I cried last night, for the tears that are falling down right now on my keyboard. I hate you, because I skipped taking my pills and now I have a terrible menstrual cramps. I hate you because I have still have to go to work with my puffy eyes,

 

I hate you for hating God right now. I begged him not to let me know or see that you’ve found someone else. I begged him to spare me from this kind of pain. I can’t believe how much I’ve fallen from you that I took 20milligrams of Montelukast and 30mg of Remeron just so I could fall asleep, and I also hate you because I did that. I hate you that my sister cooked and brought me food but I can’t eat.

 

I just hate you and that hurts so much you can be rest assured I will never forgive you.