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Home and Yourself

Coming out strong after a turmoil of the difficult years back is a guarantee to every experience we have as inhabitants of an Oh-so-strange world nobody truly understands. Being at rest for half a year is indeed a gift not blessed to everyone. 2015 started with a bang,cheerful and bittersweet at the same time but definitely worthwhile.

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I am writing while listening to He is We. One of my favorite bands.
The view of your previous carefree city life at dusk made candid by your memories that has gone so fast you don’t even remember how many colorful moments there was. Nevertheless, the only thing you remember was it made you happy and no matter how unrelated it seems to your upcoming life professionally, you still consider it as your stepping stone especially because you value the amount of trust and interpersonal relationship skills it has and it introduced you to your most valuable friends.

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This is definitely not Mystic Falls. I dont know exactly how many times I have said that seeing this gives me so much joy. It provides the assurance that, Hey Baby you’re definitely HOME and just like that, everything suddenly makes you feel better.

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I told myself I’m coming back here and I did. This is a view backdoor of a specific resort room that has become my favorite as it became a landmark of my longterm relationship with my childhood friends. It reminds me how some things are never changed. Only people does.

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It’s undeniable how Philippines has always been the best places to go for a breathe of fresh air, cheap or affordable travel and its beaches, both known and unknown. As an archipelago, this country will forever be surrounded by rich water formations. I always wondered why people here seem to be happiest even in dire and poverty-stricken communities. It delights me how most people have positive outlook despite difficult circumstances. Maybe the rich nature, greatest gift to mankind.

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I do not really believe how tying the knot is proof of the existence of a happily ever after. I always look forward to the life after marriage and the grace of the childbearing years afterwards. Weddings though, are good starters for those who wants to prove how “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,it is not proud…Love never fails…” It is proof of someone’s success at counquering the challenge of getting to know a person at his or her pre-mature stage, because Yes, marriage is for those man or woman enough to endure a lifetime together.

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Culture, festivals, their colors and the genuine smiles. My province,La Union, is known for its amateur surfing beaches and camps but not many festivals. My new favorite, Sillag Festival celebrates lights every summer around April-ish. Apart from my fascination with flying objects, animated lights never ceases to amaze me. I have faith in how sky lanterns would someday teach me the art of letting go. My maturity has never been truly tested when it comes to coping up with loss. I do not hope to confront that particular challenge anytime soon, but I am trying my best to be stronger and mature enough when the time comes.

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In great need of seconds of peace and tranquility. My favorite church. Pink Sister’s Convent, Baguio City. I like places of religious faith that does not require huge groups of people gathered together. I’m very vocal on my opinion about how faith is a personal thing and faith taken to publicity is called religion. I make it a must to come back here everytime I have to make life-changing decisions. I will come back soon.

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Closures are necessary for a brand new start. I’m glad that I have decided to watch an event of Mixed Martial Arts for the first time. I was never fond of it, but I understand the glory and the adrenaline from the cheering crowd. This will mark as a place where I reconnect with my past failed relationships for the first timeas well. It shows how the quiet presence amidst the roaring crowd signifies how much I may have felt back when we were “together” and how I am hoping to strengthen the relationship we chose to have now as friends. Afterall, happy endings are not always being together. Sometimes, it’s being happy and comfortable with the person you both chose to become separately.

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Going back to places you’ve forgotten reminds you of who you are and the person you’ve become. It’s worth to pay a tribute to an old self. Looking back reminds you of the mistakes you hope not to make twice. Of the memories you can’t figure how you manage to have forgotten. Of the people who were truly there. Of your friends you can keep until your too old enough you can hardly get a hold of them. Of the dreams you were once made of. Of the fond moments you didn’t even know existed until you were back there standing and hoping you knew how happy you were back then. I will never understand why people’s lives revolves around finding true happiness. I guess if contentment can be bought, there would no longer be any reason for the world to be round and strange.

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Frustration Makes People Better

I have always believed how frustration makes people better as compared to motivation. It is the drive that pushes people to their limits. It is only less known to people due to the fact that negative words makes no positive appeal to human nature just like how constructive criticism doesn’t work most of the time.

You get stressed and frustrated when somebody puts pressure on you like deadlines, quota, standards to meet and so on. This makes people move more quickly, become more productive and think faster. The quality of job done is not necessarily compromised each time frustration kicks in. Although it does happen,it still makes a person better by helping us discover more potential from the things we learn from failures.

The downside of my belief however, has a terrible impact on the people who cannot contain it and convert to a positive energy that they can use to become better individuals. In some instances, when frustration fails to uplift us,we become self-destructive, hopeless,we resort to violent methods and we tend to displace our anger towards other people and eventually destroy inter-human relationships in the long run. I am guilty of the latter all the time. I am on my late twenties, all these years I have been trying to contain and control my anger brought about my frustrations in life and It seems to me that this goal is still far-fetched. I am trying my best to keep calm,do nothing and try not to talk if I think I feel more angry than frustrated, because frustration puts you to work, anger messes up your head. There are indeed a lot of things that can be changed when you keep your cool and think before you act or speak. I have a long way to go before I’ll be able to materialize my belief. I’m working on it, but for the meantime, all I can do is cry and regret about the things I did or said that were brought about by my inability to use my frustrations positively,apologize and try not to make the same mistakes twice.

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Wrapping Up A Difficult Year

It’s wrong to be Starting with a cliche about how people say we all go through a roller coaster ride in life,but I couldn’t agree more as 2014 including the year before that has so far been the most difficult year in my life as far as I remember. It’s been a year full of hardships and tears, worse of all, hatred. It’s not fair to say I never had a good time because I did, but that’s maybe once in a month or more and that is far too less for someone putting her heart and soul at her job every second, everyday for 365days and slowly burning from the inside. I have no regrets though, going through the rain made me love summer a lot more. Summer.

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Of course, who doesn’t like sand on your feet? It feels as good as a breath of fresh air. Walking barefoot did make me feel a grasp of how it is again to have a peace of mind, to feel free.

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Sunset. If there’s a kind of love for the non-living I’d say I’m in love with this one, just like how I love the color of yellow,brown,amber,nude,tan and everything else that makes the world seem cozy and peaceful and yet so full of life.

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I’m totally a pyromaniac, this is sunset in my arms, it warms me up from the inside. I don’t know exactly how fire can burn and bring someone back to feeling so alive.

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A dose of your parents’ tender loving arms, a good beach, a good company, a good beer and a good cry. So good that even if the sun is high up in the sky, it helps you cover up the tears on your cheeks with raindrops. It helps you bring back your beautiful smile.

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Anyone can easily give up anything for a view of redemption. Another shot at living life and becoming once again, carefree. For anyone who finds peace at heart could start a new beginning. I’m thankful to be able to come back home and say I’m ready to do it again.