The Stress of the year!

 

Hello stress reliever! I dunno exactly whats going on in my head. Im in a sort of a panic that opportunities seem to be closing down on me. This is no longer me, I used to grab everything that comes my way, I’m not sure why I had been to hesitant these days, It’s not like an opportunity with my professional field came recently, it never did actually but with regard to my current job, I already had a lot I just let them slip away. Now that I have the need to grab it, Im no longer qualified to do it. Maybe this is one part of the plan laid down for me. I might not be meant for it or maybe I’m being punished for being too lax?too confident that it will always come sooner or later, that there will always be something for me. I’ve been so easy-go-lucky i guess. I’m not getting younger, but its not that that worries me, All that Im worried about is my sister, she’s our current bread winner. I’m more worried when people around me are part of the consequences of the actions i take. Im at a total loss.

I easily get irritated these days, i feel the need to talk a lot, i feel the need to spend everything i worked for like my salary which of course is not a bright idea since I’ll be needing it sooner or later and I dont want it to be an additional to the stress thats already starting to sync in. Well I really think I knew myself a lot that I’m actually conscious about the signs my strong-will power is starting to wear out. Sigh. BIG SIGH. I dunno how to start over. The more appropriate phrase probably will be, I’m afraid.